“The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise . . . Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me.”
Psalm 51:17, 10 ESV
In only 15 short days, God did some amazing things in our time in D.C. From city mapping to presentation presenting, from gospel sharing to relationship building, from personal wrestling’s to spiritual revelations, these two weeks were vividly packed with displays of God’s sovereign hand at work, both in my life and in the lives of those around me. As I prepare for the second leg of this summer trip, I continue to reflect on all the things God spoke to me in this time and look upwards in praise to the one who restores to me the joy of my salvation. As I unpack these two weeks on this page, I hope to centrally exhort Christ, but also the amazing people that God blessed me to serve alongside. By their example and faithfulness, God has continued to humble me and showed me plainly by desperate need for him in all aspects of things. To him be the glory.
Before I begin to ramble on these sovereign displays, I want to take this time to lift up some intentional praise. To those who gave: The Williams, Gordons, Lawrences, Mehado’s, Cooks, Brittons, Humphrey’s, Gourleys, Ann Cade, David W, and Provision Baptist Church- Y’all are far beyond an immense blessing and overwhelming encouragement to my heart! Through your generosity and grace, God has allowed me to go and share the good news with those that have not heard and in that I praise God! Thank you all for your partnership in my walk with Christ and for spurring me on again and again to be bold and broken before the Lord. With all my heart thank you for your faithful and loving support.
As we boarded the bus and sped towards our scheduled Sunday morning service at Kings Church, I had no idea of the amazing work God had set before me. Stepping off the bus and walking into a small coffee shop, all I could think about was the words God had spoken to me hours before. “I am the Lord; I have called you in righteousness; I will take you by the hand and keep you; I will give you as a covenant for the people, a light for the nations, to open the eyes that are blind. to bring out the prisoners from the dungeon, from the prison those who sit in darkness” (Isaiah 42:6-7 ESV). I sat down, and with a quick prayer, I jumped boldly into conversation with the man sitting next to me. As we talked, I learned of this man’s deep appreciation for creation and joined with him in expressing my love for nature. From there we moved into some of his story, and I learned that he was a part of a non-denominational church that he treasured for its deep community. I questioned him on his experience in church and asked if he had a testimony. However, as time was running out, I couldn’t seem to get deeper with him. Sensing that the conversation was coming to an end, I asked if I could pray for him promising that “God hears and he will answer”. The man’s next words stirred my spirit as I could clearly see God’s hand at work. “How do you know God speaks to you? How can I know?” In a moment of awe, I sat back down and explained to him the word, and how God speaks directly from it. Pointing even to my quiet time and the verse quoted above as an example of God’s faithfulness in answering my prayers. As God quieted my fears and gave me peace in the possible, and now present chance, of sharing the good news with someone who was deeply lost.
In the end Michal didn’t accept Christ. But I rest in the promise of Isaiah 55:11 that his word “shall not return empty . . . but it shall accomplish that which” he purposed it for. God is not done with Michal just yet. I left that coffee shop encouraged knowing that these two weeks would be defined by moments like this. Vivid displays of God’s sovereignty enacted through humble hearts and faithful obedience. This is just one of those moments and there were many more including:
- Daily demonstrations of God’s word directly applying to my heart or present fears
- More open conversations with the lost as they shared their stories and we strived to apply the gospel
- Daily renewal of energy and focus and protection from sickness or serious harm
…and many more. In all of these, it was amazing to witness God’s faithfulness and see the way the spirit moved to bring about these opportunities to point all of these things back to Christ.
Turning to a more personal side, this trip taught me something well summed up in the verses that began this entry, along with a prayer I wrote down as my train approached home. “Give me a clean heart, renew in me a right spirit, restore to me the joy of your salvation, uphold me with a willing spirit, put in me a broken and contrite heart”. As I reflected on my heart on that returning train, the Lord shed the scales from my eyes, and I recognized the familiar signs of selfish ambition and jealous conceit playing on the strings of my heart. Again, pride had risen up within me, and sought to pin all of my successes and failures on my strength. So easily, even as we strive to serve Christ, our hearts fight for our selfish glory. In these moments, especially paired with the words “broken spirit”, I look back to David, “God’s king”. David wasn’t a great king because of his victories, skills, or even the work he did in the Lord’s name. David was a great king because he had learned to bend the knee. He knew he couldn’t do it on his own, and he constantly called out to the Lord for aid and in repentance. This is the type of servant of Christ I want to be. One that is desperately in need of the Lord’s help. One who is broken and humble before the Lord. One that, as Philippians 2:3-4 says, does “nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than” myself—not looking to my interest but “to the interests of others”. As I prepare for this final leg in the following days, that is my prayer. That the Lord would give me a broken spirit, one that recognizes my need, and that in humility I would look with love to the interests of others. Only in Christ can this be done and only in Christ can I truly foster a spirit broken before the Lord. But I trust in his promises and his continued faithfulness, and I know that he will do this work in me. Not for my glory Lord, Oh Lord not for me, but for your glory Jesus, let it be done.
One final word before I share some quick highlights and prayerful conclusions. I want to abundantly and humbly thank my team, with whom God blessed me to serve:
- Thank you, Tyler, for your discerning wisdom and patient leadership. Your presence in my life has been an overwhelming blessing, and your counsel the Lord has used again and again to speak to my wandering heart!
- Thank you, Kennedy, for your servant-heartedness and intentional love towards those around you. It was amazing to see God use you as a light on our team, not only administratively, but as a constant source of encouragement and wisdom in all venues of ministry!
- Thank you, Josiah, for your leadership and humble heart before Christ. Watching you, God allowed me to see the way a leader loves his team by serving them. In many ways, on this trip and the trip to come, I aim to follow you as you follow Christ!
- Thank you, Vincent, for your intentionality and kindness to those around you. In so many personal conversations and even watching you interact with others, I was struck by the way you care for those made in the image of God. Continue to model that overflowing love brother, as Christ has done for us all!
- Thank you, Kayla, for your Christlikeness and exemplary reliance on the Lord. I know wasn’t able to interact to much with you on this trip, but even in the short time I served with you, it was evident that Christ’s hand was working through you and your faithfulness!
- Thank you, Trystan, for your steadiness and mind constantly hungering to learn more before the Lord. I was so encouraged in many conversations with you brother as you expressed you desire to rely and know Christ more. What a blessing of peace you are to those around you!
- Thank you, TJ, for your enthusiasm and vibrant faith for our God. You were one of the greatest encouragements to me as you loved on me brother, so faithfully, and loved the Lord by taking his word boldly to the lost. I am so excited to see what Christ has in store for you and your walk with him!
- Thank you, Noemi, for your dependability and love for your team. Again, while I was unable to serve alongside you as often, through the testimonies of others and from what I witnessed in our times together, you are a blessing of a companion to anyone who strives with you. Your thoughtfulness and sensitivity to the spirit are just a few things I want to strive for as I walk in faith after Christ!
- Thank you, Claire, for your endurance and honest brokenness before the Lord. Watching you persist in faith, even amidst trials and suffering, was convicting and overwhelmingly encouraging. Your boldness in sharing while battling personal fears was another thing that again I just want to exhort before the Lord!
- Thank you, Cherith, for your maturity and discernment so undeniably displayed. I was encouraged by your patience towards those around you and with your attitude that always exuded an overwhelming sense of peace. You were a great blessing to the “Big Dawgs II team” and our team as a whole!
- Thank you, Acacia, for your willingness even while “scared and confused”, to speak God’s word to those who needed it. Watching your growth and continued journey of relying on boldness from the Lord has and will continue to be an immense encouragement and blessing to me and our team. Keep trusting in his ability to do it sis!
Thank you all for your faithfulness and examples of obedience in following after our lord. So many times throughout this trip, I was convicted by watching the way you all abided in Christ, and I just want to encourage you that in all things, as you strive faithfully, God is working through you. It has and will continue to be an honor to serve with y’all as we step into this next leg of things!
As this post is beginning to drag on, I want to quickly hit y’all with some speedy highlights and then petition y’all to be praying for a few specific things. Firstly, some of the highlights were:
- Trains!
- Jo’s and Vinny’s presentation
- Monument exploration and city mapping
- Meals with the team
- Randon Wagon on fire
- Vinny Mewing
- Ultimate with random D.C. peeps
- Kings Baptism Service
- How to train your dragon movie (great remake – ain’t topping the og)
- Nationals game
- Volleyball with the Interns
- 2 hour long chess game with Jo and subsequent morning migraine
- Bible Museum
- Gospel Conversation and getting to know the team
- Rats
- Amazing quiet times with the Lord
- Random Convo with Andrew and his wrestling with a call to missions
As I come to the end of this D.C. dump and begin preparing for my next destination in South Asia, my excitement grows daily in anticipation of what the Lord is bringing next. Whatever it may be, I pray that God would gift me a broken heart and boldness in the gospel as I go into a place desperately needing the good news. Jesus our king is worthy of our worship, and we go because there are places still on this earth where hearts do not praise our prince of peace. Please continue to pray for me and my teammates, specifically lifting up requests for boldness, brokenness, and hearts filled with loving service. That we might be a blessing to the missionaries we will serve with. As I stated to Michal, our prayers are heard and answered. And I trust that Christ will do amazing things that I will have to chance to testify to y’all on my coming return. Till then may Christ break you and take you deeper into his love, that you might know his mercies more and more abundantly ever day. To him be the glory, Amen!
